The Guide to knowing what you desire

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In the fall of 2011 I took a business trip to London and eagerly looked forward to exploring the city on my own. I had endless shopping and browsing in mind, due to the fact I was alone and could look to my heart’s content. One of the places on my list was Selfridges on Oxford Street. A beautiful building that houses endless luxury brands, the shoe gallery, and an amazing selection of home wares.

I took the tube to my destination and anticipated what I would find, and possibly take home with me.

During my time at Selfridges I passed through all the luxury brands running my hands through the silks and satins, the soft texture of Italian leather, placing diamond bangles on my wrist. It all felt luxurious and opulent, extravagant. Yet I was there with my 5 euro purse and beat up boots from 3 seasons before, standing next to women completely polished and adorned head-to-toe in designer labels. I knew I belonged in Selfridges, but I wondered how these women could afford the Yves Saint Laurent bags and the Chanel jackets when I was trying to find a mid-season sale to replace my boots!

I knew I desired more, much more.

I left Selfridges in a fury, filled with frustration and tears almost escaping my eyes. I did not even bother to continue my excursion to the boutiques on my list and went straight home to my computer. I immediately started looking for jobs that would pay me more than I was making, thinking that would solve the unease I was feeling.

The answer was not securing a new job. It came from dropping the mind game of it is for everyone else, except me. That they can do it, but not I. That I am not one of the lucky ones.

It was about choosing to accept what my desires actually are, and being completely comfortable with it.

The envy or desire to have something can be a sign that you want it, and you can have it too.

I have been back to Selfridges many times since then, and have never had that profound of experience repeat itself. Mostly, because I know what I desire and I am completely comfortable with allowing myself to step into my desires with confidence. This European getaway is one of them, and it feels so good!

It is about choosing, accepting, and welcoming.


1. Dream the bigger vision.
Dream as big as you possibly can about the desire that is stirring within you. This is where the fun comes in and you can allow yourself to play and envision what it would feel like to finally live out your desires. Create a vision board using magazines or Pinterest, or write it out in present tense.

2. Identify the elements.
When you have finally dreamed the biggest you could possibly dream, identify the elements of your desire that bring you the most pleasure. The ones that truly awaken you. These are the ones that are most important and should be cared after with the upmost attention. These are the ones you want to fulfill.

3. Break down the expenditure.
Once you know which elements of your desire that you want to fulfill, you need to do your research of the cost of it. This is the hard part, because this is where the work starts to take place. It is no longer dreaming, but actually making things happen. Once you have researched the cost, keep it simple and break it down. Whether it be a weekly investment plan, creating a savings account, or working through each element separately (like flights booked first, then hotel booking, then the new luggage to carry the clothes you will buy in London).

4. Commit.
Committing can be the second hardest part of the process, because you have to begin saying yes to yourself, that you allow yourself to actually accept your desires. Commit to your desires.

5. Prepare the way.
Prepare yourself for your desires to come true. This may be physically by creating a healthier lifestyle, it may be by shopping for new clothes, it might be scheduling weekly massage appointments. Whatever it is, welcome your desires any way you can.

Image via: Pinterest
Live your desired life thumbnailDownload the Live Your Desired Life workbook and learn the 4 easy steps on how I started to live the life I always dreamed of that you can start implementing immediately.