2017 was such a fun year for me as it brought the clothing line I founded with my best friend forward, adventures around British Columbia, saw my children fully settled into full-time daycare, brought out my creativity and curiosity in many different areas, I played with my photography, read novels, started my freelance marketing business, traveled to Oregon, California, Germany, Holland, and Iceland. There are so many in-between moments as well when I scroll back through my camera roll and the photos on my laptop I can’t believe we lived through so much.
2017 opened my eyes to the injustice in this world. This summer I had conversations about white privilege, women inequality, the war in Syria, gender identification, and what it means to love, truly love those around us. I knew I wanted to do better. It was difficult to stay on top of the news in 2017. There were many times I wanted to bury my head under the covers and pretend the headlines weren’t real. Instead, I paid attention, I opened my eyes to what was truly going on around the world and I was astonished and ashamed how long I allowed myself to live under a rock.
This past year I had a lot of revelations and let go of objects, relationships, and thoughts that didn’t serve me well. It was a hard awakening to see that certain things that I had held so dear were actually making me feel weighted down, insecure, and not very good about myself.
What 2017 left me with
Yet 2017 ended on a high note as the biggest revelation this year came almost before the clock struck the hour of midnight ringing in 2018. And I’m sure you will nod your head and say “well, of course, Lesley” but for me, it was a huge ah-ha moment. And it is this:
I am who I am. I am complex and multifaceted. I am full of conflicting thoughts and emotions. I am a dreamer and a chaotic perfectionist. I will meet everyone where they are at and go to lengths to meet their expectations, but I cannot convince myself to schedule time for writing unless I have a deadline to meet. I am constantly inspired and find inspiration in many places that it can feel like I’m a chaser of shiny objects and don’t know what I actually want, but the truth is I want them all.
I had been struggling with myself because I felt like I didn’t fit into a category like others, I seemed to flutter outside the boundaries that others seemed to thrive within and I thought there was something wrong with me. But just weeks before the end of the year I discovered new revealing information about my personality and a glow seemed to warm from inside me. All of it helped me lean back into my chair, put my feet up, pull a cup of tea towards me and say “that about sums me up” and then relax into the blood the pulses through my veins.
What will 2018 be
There is a lightness to 2018 that I haven’t felt, perhaps, ever. 2018 feels more manageable because I figured out the missing key to getting things done in my personal life and have already set up systems and strategies to accomplish those dreams that have been nagging at me. I haven’t felt like my dreams were achievable in a long long time, and this year I finally feel like I can make some major strides in moving towards them.
I’m so curious, what did 2017 teach you and what are you looking forward to in 2018?