Welcome to

THE BLOG

Type B personality, Creative business, Vancouver Coach

I’ve been on this entrepreneur path for quite some time but one thing that I’ve never discussed is my aversion to the word hustle. When I see messages like “Every day I’m hustling”, “If you’re not hustling then you’re dead”, ” Hustle first, hustle second” it makes me cringe.

I see examples of successful or starting businesses who are making huge waves in their industry and they talk about the hustle, the long nights, and the amount of hours they are putting in. I feel like that no matter what speed you’re working, the world is demanding that you go faster.

I have a really hard time explaining why these statements don’t sit right with me, mostly because I feel guilty or like something is wrong with me if I’m not into hustling. All these Type A personalities are raving about how hard they are hustling and I am sitting here thinking, “umm I am so not Type A. I am Type B! Someone grab them a cup of tea and tell them to relax!” It feels like Type A’s are the glorified personality type. They get things done. They are go-getters. And if you’re not a Type A, well, better pull your big girl pants on and learn to hustle even harder. Because the Type A’s are going to get the early bird and all you’ll be left with is the scraps.

Just typing that out makes me feel tired.

I don’t want the scraps but I also don’t want that life. It isn’t for me.

Anyone else feel this way?

So instead of pulling on my big girl pants, I start telling myself stories that I must be lazy. I must not have what it takes. And since I’m lazy and don’t have what it takes I won’t be successful. I’ll replay scenes of my past where I prove to myself that I’m lazy and I’ll never make it. Then next thing I know I’m flying down a hole throwing my self-confidence down the drain. I can hear myself muttering that I may as well pack up my bags and close up shop because clearly there is someone who has more hustle than me and they should have a crack at the game.

Yet, somehow I still sit at my desk every day. I’m writing, I’m creating, I’m building relationships that are important.

I refuse to give up.

I’m not interested in the hustle and giving up taking care of myself to see my business succeed at lightening speed. I’m not willing to sacrifice my health, my relationships, or my life for the sake of my business. I started out on this entrepreneur journey because I wanted to focus on my art and creativity. I wanted to do life my way.

I want to open up the conversation of what entrepreneurship looks like if you’re not a Type A personality. If the word hustle sends you back under the covers and you’re peeking out wondering if there is another way to do it, I want to show you that there is.

If you’re interested in enjoying the sun in the afternoon and still sending in that client proposal. Taking days off to recharge then responding to client emails. Fostering strong working relationships and boundaries so that you can live the life you dreamed of living. While making sure you’re getting the sleep you require and still meeting your client’s needs I want to let you know you can. And you will.

We all work to get where we are going, just some of us aren’t interested in the hustle. We’re interested in enjoying life along the way.

If you feel like this, I’m thinking of starting a group of like-minded people who want to work hard and get to where they want to go, and still get to be present for their children and not feel guilty for putting their phone down because date night is important to them. Send me an email if you’re interested!

 

flower bath, milk bath

I adore having fresh flowers around my house, there is something about it that livens up my space of white and grey. Since being on my spending detox fresh flowers was one of the things that I had to let go of. I did it willingly but it wasn’t easy. However, that doesn’t mean that other people can’t surprise me with flowers and that is what Mister did for me. I came home to a beautiful bouquet of pinks and purple flowers and I can’t tell you what kind of smile it brought to my face.

I’ve been moving them around the house depending on where I am at the time. Yet sadly the day came when the flowers were drooping and only a few flowers could be salvaged for a smaller arrangement for the kitchen table. Instead of throwing the flowers away like I normally would I asked Isla if she would like to have a flower bath and she responded with a resounding “yes” so off to the tub we went.

How to make a flower bath:

  1. Pluck moist petals off the heads of flowers. (skip the dry petals as it makes less of a mess if they break in your hand)
  2. Fill bathtub with warm water (test with your elbow for temperature if you’re filling the bath for children – just doing my do diligence here)
  3. 1-2 drops of lavender essential oils
  4. Sprinkle petals into the water
  5. Slip into your flower bath and enjoy.

Isla really enjoyed her time in the bath and eventually I jumped in with her. It’s something we’ve been doing since she was a newborn and it’s one of our favourite things to do at the end of the day.

flower bath, milk bath, childhoodunplugged

Let me know if you’ve tried out a flower bath and what you thought of it! I can’t wait to do it again.

southlandfarms, pony rides, vancouver

This weekend we piled into the car and drove a quick 20 minutes from the city towards Southlands Farm. It’s a quaint little farm that we used to visit weekly last year when little Isla used to take riding lessons, but when she became aware that Henry hated horses (and anything else that was bigger than him or would make noise) those lessons quickly ended. She would do anything to make him happy instead of screams of terror. I didn’t feel like I should force Henry to face his fears so we never returned.

However, lately the children have been asking over and over to see horses. To make them smile I would drive down back country roads an hour away from the city and say “look out Henry’s window, a horse!” and it made them smile but it wasn’t good enough. They wanted to see them up closer.

So yesterday I asked them if they’d like to go see horses up close and Isla grabbed her boots and jacket right way while Henry went around the house saying “horsey, horsey”. So we left the buzz of the city and drove through the most beautiful houses I’ve seen and drove up to the creaky gates of Southlands Farm.

We wandered around the grounds letting the children lead the way from the tire swing, to pointing at the chickens, attempting to pet and feed the goats and then finally into the barn to see the horses. I’m happy to report that Henry didn’t cry! I would say that was a success for him!

As we stood outside watching one of the horses she used to ride on Isla asked if she could ride Magic. Thankfully they were able to accommodate our last minute request and out came Bailey the sweetest horse who loved to give kisses. Henry clutched my jacket while wide eyed, but I could tell he was completely enthralled with the horse with the velvet nose. Isla couldn’t contain her excitement and when I swung her up onto the saddle her smile was as big as I’ve ever seen it. She was so confident and happy as she sat tall leading her horse around and we were beaming watching her.


southlands farm, pony rides, vancouver

2 comments
  • BonnieMay 5, 2017 - 11:58 AM

    This looks like the farm where I rode for many of my teen years. I would walk from Granville Street in order to muck stalls to pay for my riding.ReplyCancel

    • LesleyMay 11, 2017 - 11:09 AM

      That is a dream I have for Isla if she wants to pursue horseback riding!!ReplyCancel

I’ve recently started watching Gilmore Girls for the first time (I know, I’m behind) and I’ve become completely fascinated with how Rory has if not one but numerous books with her so that she can read whenever there is a lull in her day. Sitting at the bus stop, in the hall at school, outside waiting for her best friend, even before meeting her date she will read a few pages before she is interrupted. And she is always interrupted, and she greets it with a smile.

So I’ve started doing the same, only, with one book. I tuck it into my purse and pull it out while either at the playground with my children, going through drive through for an afternoon pick-me-up, waiting in the car while one of my children nap, and especially at the end of the day before bedtime. It’s really relaxing and enjoyable!

This new way of living has made me become more aware of how much guilt and judgement there is around screens. If I’m at the playground and starting at my screen I feel a sense of guilt that I should be paying more attention to my child instead of at my phone. And I’m also wondering if other parents are judging me for doing this.

I remember reading an article a few years ago about a mom who gave herself such a hard time because she was staring at her phone so intently that she wasn’t able to save her child from harm and they ended up hurting themselves on the playground. She wrote a whole entire article about how our phones aren’t worth the time that our children need. There was a part of me that agreed, and sympathized with her, but also at the same time I shook my head.

When I would go to the playground or the pool when I was younger, my mom had one eye on me and another eye on something that she was interested in – either a book or a friend. And it was good. I hurt myself and would come crying to her, she would hug and kiss me until I felt better and then off I went, and she back to her activity. It wasn’t a big deal.

So I wonder why there is such guilt around screens that it’s making everyone anxious and judgey. Can’t we all just get along, enjoy whatever activity we bring to entertain us to our child’s activity whether it be a book, a phone/ipad, notebook or a colouring book. If it leaves you feeling good, then by all means, go for it.

Let’s lay the screen guilt aside and pay attention to what activity feels good for us for once.

I’ve been having some difficulty in sitting down and writing anything of value lately. Despite my ritual of setting myself up with my tea, starting my writing playlist, and open my document to where I left off – I get nothing. This is probably the first time I’ve truly dealt with what is commonly known as “writer’s block” and it’s frustrating to the core.

I complained to a friend about my “problem” (this is in quotations because writer’s block is hardly a problem in the grand scheme of things) and she was sympathetic and encouraging and then asked me to write her a poem. I almost laughed in her face because prose and poems are not something I do. I am fearful of them and just do not understand them.

She called it a creative exercise.

I took the bait.

there once was a zoo made just for you.
there were animals: hairy beasts, sharp teeth, and fuzzy warm noses.
the noises were wild and a little scary too.
But deep inside you found the tiniest of ponds.
exquisite and gleaming.
You.

She praised me and clapped her hands and exclaimed “I love it, you did a thing!”

I beamed and felt my cheeks glowing in pleasure and instantly thought of my children. No matter how grotesque their painting, how dirty their knees and hands, how easy their obstacle – when they show me what they have done I clap my hands, smile with glee and praise them for their effort.

“Darling, you did a thing!” and I mean every ounce of the words coming out of my mouth.

Yet, I cannot conjure up those same feelings for myself. Why is it that we constantly beat ourselves up over the smallest of successes saying they aren’t good enough, yet can easily praise anyone else.

I encourage my children to try again and again till they exhausted all their options, yet I know that as adults if we can’t accomplish what we want perfectly the first time we give up. Or is that just me?

I want to live with a more child-like mindset. To say “I did a thing!” even if it isn’t perfect, all that matters is that I’ve tried and I created something.

How to have a child-like mindset:

  1. Be proud of the small accomplishments and show them off.

    My daughter asked me to make a dragon tail for her to wear the other day, so I brought out all the papers and crayons and went to town. The end result was nothing you would find on Pinterest but she was thrilled. She ran around the house with it saying it was a dragon tail kite.

  2. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes and then try again.

    I see this time and time again in my children, they aren’t afraid to make mistakes and if they don’t get it right the first, second, tenth time I’m still there beside them encouraging them to continue or find a different way to their goal. The same goes with anything you’re putting your attention to, be willing to make mistakes and then try again.

  3. Stay curious.

    Continue to be curious as to why, when, how things happen. Children aren’t afraid to ask questions yet at the same time thirst for knowledge in all subjects whether it’s dinosaurs, trains, magical fairies, or how the world turns. Stay curious and let your curiosities go from interest to interest and then pursue each interest as deep and as wide as your curiosity takes you. You’ll leave with more knowledge than you had before, and no one can say that’s bad for you!

Now I encourage you to start right now with a child-like mindset and see what happens. You’ll never know where it will take you!

 

2 comments
  • ArshiaApril 28, 2017 - 10:47 AM

    That poem is so lovely, I found myself reading and repeating it a couple of times… You are so talented!ReplyCancel

    • LesleyApril 28, 2017 - 2:24 PM

      Wow, thanks Arshia! It’s the first poem I’ve written in years. You sure know how to make me feel good. 🙂ReplyCancel