Lesley Stefanski

During my pregnancy I didn’t think I wanted a maternity session. There didn’t seem to be a purpose for hiring a photographer to have me wander around a field while holding my belly and posing with my hands shaped like a heart over top. I didn’t feel the need or pressed to document that season in my life and felt completely happy with my decision. Until late November.

As I was getting ready for work I realized that I would be missing out on documenting one of the most transformational season’s in my life, and I would regret it later if I didn’t schedule a maternity session. My issue was doing a session that represented me and how I wanted to feel throughout my pregnancy. I couldn’t see myself doing a session outside with Mister by my side, I knew I needed to do this alone. And I needed it to be done in a feminine and elegant way. I thought of all the photographers I knew and who I would want to photograph me and instantly thought of one who is a good friend and thankfully local to me.

I emailed Jasalyn Thorne asking if she’d be interested in photographing me and the next thing I knew a plan was being created and vendors were being contacted.

In mid-December I woke up early and had one of my favourite hair and makeup artists, Jayna Marie, come to my home where we chatted over lattes and Louboutins. I then stepped into a taxi to be whisked away to the location for my shoot. And there, Jasalyn worked her magic and captured the exact feelings and emotions I had felt throughout my entire pregnancy, plus more. She was able to draw out the feminine, elegant, and peaceful side of me along with the thoughtful, playful, and dreamy side, all in her beautiful editorial style.

When I saw her sneak peek of my shoot, I was left speechless. She captured me, beautifully pregnant, in the most beautiful way I could have ever imagined. I am so grateful I documented being pregnant. I look at these with so much pride, my body helped create and protect a beautiful little baby and I was able to do it with so much grace and ease despite having a rough go at it.

Thank you Jasalyn, I don’t think I will ever find the words to fully express what these mean to me.

As a new mum, I am faced with this question at least a couple of times a week, usually followed by “don’t lie to me” or “it’s the best thing ever, isn’t it?!”

How is motherhood.

In all honestly, I never know quite how to answer because it really depends on the month/week/day/hour/minute I’m having that can really effect my response. I want to say it’s the worst thing that has happened to me….and also say it’s the best.

Am I supposed to tell you about breastfeeding in washrooms where I have to cover my nose to mask the smell of it never being cleaned? Or the other time washing my hands in a empty public washroom she was in her pram screaming, the sound was reverberating off the faded blue walls making it sound like there were three of her, that a calmness came over me when I realized that I could leave her and no one would know she was mine. That having thoughts of leaving, running as fast as I can sounds like the best idea ever? And that I’m the worst person who ever existed.

Do you want to know the story of listening constantly to one song while pregnant, dreaming of my future babe, then dissolving into a puddle of tears when she was finally in my arms and feeling so unworthy to be called her mum? How about my internal struggle to even be called mum, or dealing with the fact that prior to becoming pregnant the idea of children would fill me with so much anxiety that now I’m still unsure how I’m supposed to love her? Or when friends say “I don’t want children” my heart says “me too!” even with her in my arms, and then again I feel like the worst person, ever.

Do you want to hear that I work hard to get her to sleep, nurse, and go to the bathroom? That if we didn’t have a schedule, I’d be dealing with a completely different child…not the calm one I have? That bringing up a babe is so.much.work? Like all parents should be sweating blood due to the commitment it takes to devote your energy to a child?

That it feels like I’m complaining when I tell you this?

Or do you want to hear about how every time she successfully sleeps through the night I feel like I should celebrate with champagne? Sleeps longer than a 45 minute nap I want to smother her in kisses? That seeing her wake up, pull her hands above her head and give a big stretch is one of the most adorable things I’ve ever seen, besides her sneezing?

That no matter how much screaming she’s done, how many tears we’ve cried, how upset I’ve gotten that I can’t seem to figure my babe out, that when she finally settles in my arms squeezing either side of my neck while resting her head on my left shoulder I feel like my heart will bust because she finds comfort in me? That each smile, girggle, coo, sigh is a major victory and I’m the best person, ever?

Or perhaps you want to know that she feels like she’s the perfect piece to complete Mister and I. But also the piece that’s making him miss him like crazy, even when he sits next to me.

So how is motherhood, you ask.

What would you like to hear?

I‘ve been wanting to write this post for some time, but I could never find the right words.

This time last year I started working with my own life coach, and it was one of the most amazing experiences I’ve ever had to help me push some major dreams forward. Maybe it was because we had known each other for quite some time but really it’s because she is amazing at what she does.

The reason why I decided to work with a life coach was because I knew I wanted to move forward and launch my website, but I needed to have someone outside of my family to keep me accountable. She reviled what was holding me back, what my big dream was for pushing publish, and helped me create small stepping stones to get there.

Within a month I launched my website and instantly had people asking to work with me. Talk about achieving a major milestone!

Essentially within two months of working with my life coach I had launched my business and made some significant life decisions. It was probably one of the most productive periods of my life, and I have her to thank for it.

So who I was I working with?

My life coach and dear friend is Natalia from Achieve the Impossible.

I met her over 5 years ago as one of my very first boudoir clients and that session propelled me into specializing in boudoir. We kept in touch here and there and then in 2012 she reached out to me for business advice. Our relationship grew even stronger and then she asked me to photograph her once again for her website in 2013. It was the last portrait session I took. We came full circle together.

So when I was searching for a life coach to launch my new direction in life, I knew it needed to be her. I’m wanting to do a post about what it was like to work with a coach, but that will come at a later time.

I know that some of you are looking to make some changes in your life, as I know there are still some changes I’d like to make, so that is why I’m telling you about the course Natalia is putting on.

Natalia is running a free e-course that starts April 15, 2014 that is a 14-day journey where we will spend small pockets of time every day – releasing, renewing, and making space for laughter, ease and magic.

Sometimes before you make can make big changes you need to clear the space and accept where you are, and I know Natalia can help you get there.

Natalia’s course is Free, and is a great introduction to working with a life coach.

I encourage you to register for She let go! I’m going to!

*This post is unsponsored. I will never tell you about something I don’t fully believe in. I really enjoyed my time working with Natalia and wanted to share the course with you.