Masthead header
  • Do you desire a life where you know and live your inner purpose? That instead of floating through life you know exactly what your true desires are and living to your fullest potential? Do you feel like what you are longing for is just hidden under the surface and once you discover it there will be no holding you back?

    Live your desired life thumbnailDownload the Live Your Desired Life workbook and learn the 4 easy steps on how I started to live the life I always dreamed of.

Guide to investing in your business, outsourcing, business coaching
Starting and maintaining a business is not easy. It is not for the faint of heart and it is not for ones who are looking to make some quick money. It is for those who are in it for the long haul, who are willing to put in long hours, sweat the small stuff along with crying a lot of tears in frustration. It is for those who are willing to constantly feel ‘turned on’ by business and typically unable to turn their brain off of how to generate more content or attract another client.

It is a long and tiring road, but one full of great satisfaction.

Due to the stress and toll running a business can have on you - emotionally, mentally, and physically – you need to know where to find the support to make sure you can run an efficient and profitable business.

I know it seems easier (and more economical) to do everything yourself, but in my experience it takes longer, you become more frustrated, and you end up doing yourself and your clients a disservice. I believe you are in business because of what you are passionate about, not to do the things you detest.

Take an honest look at yourself and assess your weaknesses and be proud of them!

Where in your business do you put tasks off until the deadline is staring you in the face?
Where in your business do you find anxiety or stress to get tasks done?
Where in your business do you find it takes up the most time and you hate the whole process?

List everything down that comes to mind. It is okay to write them down as weaknesses, it is actually better to know where your faults lie in business…because you’re going to outsource them next!

Next you are going to find your support to get those tasks off your plate. Now do not allow yourself to think you do not deserve help or that you need to do it on your own. You desire a profitable and successful business, and this will get you there. There are family, friends, and other business owners who love to do what you hate doing and it is time you allow them to flourish along with you.

Yes, this will require money.

It is an investment to your business AND your wellbeing.

Set yourself a budget, even if it is $20 for the month, hire the support to get you to where you want to be. If you need to, raise your prices the exact amount you need so that you can hire your support.

Believe me, it is worth it!

I recently hired myself a Virtual Assistant to help me with blogging and emails because there were certain aspects of the administrative side of business that stressed me out and caused a lot of anxiety. My virtual assistant thrives in those areas so I hired her to support me in my business, and in turn I am also supporting her business.

It is scary, to ask for help, but it is totally worth the investment.

What is one area you have been wanting to outsource but have been afraid that you could not afford it? Are you going to commit to investing in your business and wellbeing?

Live your desired life thumbnailDownload the Live Your Desired Life workbook and learn the 4 easy steps on how I started to live the life I always dreamed of that you can start implementing immediately.

Thoughts on motherhood
She tugs my sleeve for what feels like the 100th time in the past five minutes and I feel myself waning. I feel the patience I had intended to have for the day become droplets in my well instead of ever flowing. I breathe in a restorative breath, hoping that it will bring some clarity. Instead I find myself checking the time and begin to count down the minutes till I will sing her her lullaby and put her to bed for the night.

And then instantly my heart hurts, that would mean twelve hours without her.

How easily I have become attached to her, how quickly my heart wants to spend every moment with her. How is it possible that just a few years ago the thought of having a babe to call my own would cause me intense anxiety but now the thought of being away from her causes the same reaction? How has this has become me?!

A woman who never dreamed of being a mother, now flourishing and relishing in the role.

Being a mother is very different than I anticipated it to be. It is more glamorous and more antagonizing all at the same time. It has pulled me apart by every seam possible but has somehow managed to sow me back up into a greater version of myself than I could have ever imagined. My body now has marks and lines that only come through childbearing, but my heart has been etched with a love that can only come from loving so deep and so endlessly. These love marks began with Mister and she has made them so profound that just like the lines on my body they will be there for all eternity.

I am not a mother who has endless patience but I do have a love that somehow fills me up when I find myself completely depleted before the end of the day.

When that moment finally comes, the one I have been counting down to, she nuzzles herself into her favourite spot: her body in my arms and her head into the crook of my arm right against my breast. I sing her the lullaby we chose for her months ago and I rock her gently in the stillness of the night. Her eyes begin to flutter so I kiss her forehead and lay her in her bed and whisper “we made it my little love, and tomorrow we will make it again”.

Images: Chris Loh

that we have lived-01
The moments flow into one another that I almost loose track of them, each one as beautiful as the last. There is such a rhythm to our life that sways us easily from one destination to the next that it feels perfectly natural to just live in the moment and not worry about yesterday or tomorrow. To just live, beautifully.

Our rented London flat quickly becomes ours with piano music playing always, Isla’s toys placed on shelves in the living room for her to easily reach, her cot tucked away in the second bedroom, and our bath products placed just so. Our fridge is stocked with delicious ingredients from the grocers that we easily prepare lunches and dinners for us to enjoy together. There is one evening in particular where Isla went to bed early and I spent the early evening preparing a dinner for my love. I felt myself flourish as I stood in the kitchen slicing and dicing, stirring the ingredients in the pot, and then plating our dinner after pouring generous glasses of wine. I brought it to the table proud to provide a nourishing and delicious meal for my love.

I stand at the kitchen sink many times a day soaking her bottles, scrubbing them clean and then laying them out to dry. Some might find the task tedious, but I find it soothing, a natural rocking rhythm as I prepare the tools needed to feed her. There is a rhythm to feeding her as well…placing her in the highchair as she waits for the food to be prepared then brought to her…teaching her that food takes time and cannot be demanded.

There are many highlights I want to remember, to cherish, to etch into my memory for all eternity. But I know that many of these beautiful moments pass to let me know I have lived and nothing more.

Inspiring Women Melodee Bosna

M elodee and I have been friends for many years now, though we have never met. I originally left a comment on her personal blog and then she left one on mine and from that moment on we stayed in touch through email, facebook, Instagram, and of course our respective blogs. She is someone that I admire greatly as she has fought for many things including her marriage and her current lifestyle. She now runs two businesses with two children; talk about inspirational!

Name: Mel Bosna
Occupation: Small business owner of two businesses.

My Story Redeemed, PLLC: I work as a clinical social worker two days a week in private practice. I’m passionate about joining young adults and women as they find healing, with specificity in working through issues that stem from trauma, relationship issues, eating disorders, and body image. I believe that healing is completely possible as I have lived both a broken and a redeemed story.

Owner Lulliloo Photography: While I enjoy many different types of photography, newborn portraiture is my specialty. Nothing reveals the wonder of life better than brand NEW life and therefore taking the time to capture all the little bits of newness is my artistic focus. Sessions require patience and teamwork and the outcome is completely worth it! You can see me in action here. I feel honored to have the opportunity to love on the world with my camera, to give back a little bit of the overwhelming beauty my clients share with me, to gaze on joy.

Website/Blog: http://lulliloophotography.com/blog/

Three of your favorite things to get you through the day (apps/drink/workout):

This varies day to day, since my week is split between my office, my on-location newborn work and my children. I would say that part of my daily survival kit involves the following three things: drinking club soda with mint (it’s my summer drink when it’s hot!), practicing deep breathing throughout both work and home tasks, and texting with my girlfriends throughout the day.

When life feels stressful I repeat a mantra that really helps me re-center: God goes before me, is behind me, is above me, around me. He works in all things, despite all things and will never leave me. I am not alone.

Who are you inspired by, and why?

I’m most inspired by the clients I work with…it takes immeasurable amounts of risk to change. It doesn’t happen all at once, in fact, most steps are so small they can’t be measured. Yet they are brave nonetheless and seeing their lives change and freedom come from brokenness reminds me to keep risking too.

To get where you are today, how did you ‘feel the fear and move through it’ anyway? Where there any moments you thought you’d just simply quit?

I feel like the short answer to how I got through it would be a combination of good therapy and good wine, however a more thoughtful response would highlight that practicing mindfulness was foundational to getting through the initial fear of living a different story. I liken it to childbirth—I had two really powerful birthing experiences, however the only way I navigated either one of them was by staying in the moment. As soon as I started wondering how much longer it was going to take, or much more it might hurt, the panic would set in and the pain would actually increase. My doula would remind me that all I had to do was one contraction at a time, and no matter how tired I felt or much labor hurt, I always knew I could do one contraction. That is how I worked through the fear of changing my career and marriage—one contraction at a time. The second I started thinking about everything I was risking was when the pain worsened. However if I could embrace the pain of what I was risking, literally exhaling out the fear then I knew in my core that I could get through that one moment of it. All the little inhales of hope and exhales of fear amounted to a radically different life than the one I had previously been living.

We always want to know how others balance it all, and I’m sure you feel like you don’t, but tell us some ways on how you stay on top of your game. What gets left behind, what gets top priority, and what helps you stay grounded?

I’m a recovering workaholic so setting boundaries (professionally, relationally and internally) has been a hard yet instrumental skill I’ve had to hone. (It does not come naturally). Several years ago I was the residential director of a nonprofit, working 60-70hr work weeks, pregnant and miserable for a cause. My marriage took a hit, and it was at that season that I knew, for me, no cause was worth sacrificing my family and heart’s well being for. Having my first child was the catalyst for a lot of reevaluation for me as I was no longer willing to work that much, I wanted a healthy marriage and a healthy heart and so taking a significant step BACKWARDS in my career was actually necessary. I resigned with a seven-week-old infant and for over a year neither my husband nor I had steady employment. That move was not logical to anybody and yet I knew intuitively that it was what I needed to be doing. I invested in my businesses and he found work as well, however we only work as much as we have to right now, as we’d rather be together and with our children. I could work a lot more, but choose not to. In this season we don’t travel much, we don’t buy expensive gifts or have a huge home—we do buy quality cheese though, drink champagne and have time to enjoy it and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’d love to see my career continue to grow, but only in ways that really motivate and inspire me enough to leave my home! I used to think that was a luxury, something only wealthy people could engage in, yet having been dirt poor that first year of self-employment and working my way into a different season I believe that its more about perspective than opportunities.

What are your must-have tools to keep on top of every day tasks as well as your busy life?

I rely on the reminders list on my i-phone like nobody’s business! I’m not a fan of sticky notes or day planners as they tend to get messy and/or become lost in my house. I also love the standard calendar on my mac and have it synced with my phone for easy organization!

Living intentionally takes action and dedication, is there a specific moment in your life where you made the decision to live intentionally? Or has it always been the way you’ve lived life?

I referenced this above—when I had my first child I was working insane hours at a non-profit. Everything in my life was out of balance, and my daughter’s birth was definitively my wake up call. I’ve always lived intentionally however it’s only been in the process of intentionality with my heart and well being that my life has been free!

How has your life changed since you’ve been living it intentionally?

I give myself freedom to say ‘no’ and the freedom to change my mind. I feel like living intentionally within my marriage has been one of the most adult steps I’ve ever taken. I do what’s intuitively right for my heart and family now, regardless of whether it pleases or disappoints anybody else. That usually isn’t easy, however having internal boundaries around what matters allows me to let others’ reactions and societal expectations go. It’s my life, the only one I get, and so I better well damn enjoy it in the way that matters to me.

Have your family/friends been supportive?

Overall those closest and healthiest are 110% behind how I’m living whether they understand it or not. There are plenty of other people disappointed that I’m not more available (both professionally and socially) however I’m really finding peace with that. Others’ emotions and expectations are not my property to manage. Accepting that people have a right to how they feel and what they want, without any pressure to do anything in response to it has been liberating! The healthy relationships I have remind me to hope, dream and persevere where it actually matters.

Do you have any rituals or friends you call upon when you need extra support or encouragement?

Yes…Prayer is huge for me! I believe in it, find my footing in it, relax in it—nothing comforts me more than prayer and the safety of my community. My life is messy still—I’m running two small businesses, I have a toddler and an infant, I don’t have a lot of time to spare and I work with a population in my practice who is recovering and yet often deeply in crisis. So prayer and community are where I run to, often. It is the difference between taking on the world (which didn’t work for me) and taking on hope (which always brings life to me).

What is one piece of advice you’d give to someone who wants to live intentionally but doesn’t know where to start?

YOU matter. You have perfect, whole, absolute, permanent worth. You’ve been determined to be worth creating, worth showing up for, worth sticking around for, worth fighting for and dying for. You have nothing to prove, and it is because you matter that your story matters. So anytime you find yourself living a story that is not the one you want to be living, you CAN change it! You are an adult, and it is your responsibility to take care of your heart and live a good story. It is the very best thing you can offer the world, I promise.

Where do you look to draw from when you want inspiration, visual or narrative, for the life you intend to live?

I follow several people on instagram who inspire me (Natalie Norton, Donald Miller, Lesley Stefanski!)

I’m always inspired to hear what other people’s dreams are, what dream of yours are you currently working towards that you envision happening in the next year?

We’d like another adventure—perhaps moving to another state, trying on a new subculture. Professionally I’d like to open up a new studio or hone my skills with EMDR. However I’m living a dream right now that I didn’t think was possible, I’m protective of this season and unwilling to sacrifice it.

To be the first to know when the next Inspiring Women Series publishes, subscribe to the newsletter.

Live your desired life thumbnailDownload the Live Your Desired Life workbook and learn the 4 easy steps on how I started to live the life I always dreamed of that you can start implementing immediately.

Last bit of London-11
After many years of stopping into antique stores and markets I finally find a set of antique tea cups that capture my attention as we wander through the Portobello Market on a Friday morning. Hand painted gold rim and a beautiful teal design, simple yet elegant in an art deco style. Mister sees my eyes sparkle at the thought of taking them home and has the woman at the stand wrap them up for me. We stroll through the rest of the stalls and I take everything in. The buildings, the locals, the stores off of Westbourne Grove, and the endless inspiration of fashion. As we make our way home Isla pulls on my sleeve and pulls me close, and then nestles her head into my shoulder. My heart melts.

Last bit of London-01Last bit of London-02Last bit of London-04Last bit of London-06Last bit of London-09

We spend a Saturday with the plans of seeing Buckingham Palace and although it takes us all day to get there, it is the most fabulous of days of walking through the centre of London enjoying the architecture as well as running into a fabulously dressed wedding party of guests. We stop into an Italian restaurant in Mayfair and we are proud of our daughter as she eats pasta along side us, completely content to enjoy her meal.

There are many meals shared with my small family, and we always walk away exclaiming how well mannered she is. How we anticipate when she will break down but also know how much she enjoys food that it can easily distract her.

An afternoon spent on our last weekend in London we take the train to Greenwich to the Royal Observatory and there we meet the beautiful Victorian structure of Greenwich Mean time. But even more breath taking is the view from the top of the hill and it quickly becomes my favourite view of London. The park grounds now filled with autumn colours, the Old Royal Naval Collage below and then the city scape ever flowing behind it. We linger for as long as we can before the chill starts to set into our bones.

Last bit of London-13Last bit of London-14
I have a morning to myself and schedule a viewing at 18 Stafford Terrace and quickly become swept away into the old Victorian home. I become inspired by the welcoming atmosphere, the endless paintings and drawings on the wall – leaving a story and mark, the silver tray, the ornate handwriting of social engagements and dinner menus, the William Morris wall paper, staff to tend to housekeeping and cooking and taking care of the children, of horseback riding in Hyde Park. All of it surrounds me in a beautiful portrayal of life in the late 1800′s and I’m captivated. Later I walk around the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea completely at peace to linger at street corners imagining what it would have been like to be born in the same year as the first World Expo and then to pass away before the start of World War I, what an exciting and elegant time in history.

As our time in London came to an end I become completely enchanted and captivated with the city – more than I ever have before. And throughout it all there is an energy, an inspiration bursting from me and I find myself writing and blogging like never before. I feel moved to dream bigger while continuing to soak up the dream we are living.

Last bit of London-15Last bit of London-10

Live your desired life thumbnailDownload the Live Your Desired Life workbook and learn the 4 easy steps on how I started to live the life I always dreamed of that you can start implementing immediately.