I’m already sucked into my own vortex of having an expectation that I’m going to blog. How am I supposed to start writing after almost eleven months of saying nothing to saying something at least once a week. Today when I woke up I thought, I’m supposed to blog. I feel like I have so much and nothing to say at the same time. I almost get upset with myself with how I am already putting myself through a guilt trip of expectation?
You would think that I’ve given myself enough grace that if I have something to say, I’ll say it. If not, I won’t. But for some reason I haven’t…and I can’t. Grace cannot be found in my expectation of writing.
So here I am, blogging. Fulfilling an expectation that I’ve put on myself.
And you know what? It feels so good to write this out. To just put thoughts and emotions out. Yes I’ve put an unnecessary expectation on myself, but having it there means that I’ll write what is on my mind. It will sometimes be raw, sometimes it will be thought out. It might be unedited and full of mistakes, I might make it perfect. This is life.
When we place expectations on ourselves, before we start acting them out we need to analyze if they are for our benefit or not. Have they been around for so long that we don’t even recognize the feeling that is associated with it? Or are they new, and the resistance we’re feeling towards it is because it’s unfamiliar or because it doesn’t belong in our life?
Design your lifestyle assignment
What sort of expectation have you put on yourself that perhaps aren’t serving you? Which ones are and you need to be paying more attention to? Figuring out what expectations to let go of or hold onto can take some effort, but it’s worth it to really check in with yourself. Whenever I’m faced with a task I need to start or finish I always check in to see how I feel about it. Sometimes I have huge resistance to it and need to figure out where that resistance is flowing from and other times I can’t wait to start working on my task!
Please feel free to share your discoveries in the comments below!
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