When you’re running a business or building a life that you’re passionate about, there is this weird pressure to perform. To constantly be busy building, creating, inspiring – delivering something no matter what it may look like. There seems to be this thought that as long as you’re delivering something into the world,  you are doing something productive. I’ve been tripping over this since my decision to end my journey with photography and take up my passion for helping other’s build a life they love.

It’s difficult to tell you how badly I want to be a consultant for small businesses, a lifestyle coach for women. That when someone asks me what I want to do with my life and I answer with the above they look at me and say “well, why aren’t you doing it yet?”. And I’ve never been able to come up with an answer till today.

I’ve been struggling with the pressure to perform, to deliver, to put anything out into the world just so that people know I’m doing something. But as much as I’ve been struggling I’ve been feeling more like a failure because I haven’t delivered. I’ve had thoughts of doubt that maybe I don’t actually want what I want because I’m not actively pursuing it or pushing it forward. I’ve contemplated throwing in the towel and saying “forget it, I’m not made for this”. I’ve wanted to end it all.

But today after coming home from my work out I opened my laptop and came across Justin Timberlake’s new single (which I love!) and then there was this one minute clip of him discussing what happens when someone asked “are you done?” and his answer was just perfect.

I’m the one who sits and is obsessive about it before you even get to hear it
As close as I get to it
I don’t know that I could physically torture myself that much year in and year out
And expect it to fulfill me the way that it does and the way that it is right now
I don’t wanna put anything out that I feel like is something I don’t love
You just don’t get that every day
You have to wait for it

I wanted to yell: Yes, that’s it!

I’m the one who is obsessing about it before anyone knows about it, I want to know the inner details of what I’m going to deliver. I can’t put anything out that isn’t my heart & soul, what I don’t love. I can’t deliver anything that I know won’t fulfill, challenge, and inspire me. I won’t torture myself that way. I have to wait for my muse, for my spirit to feel released to create. And when it does, you’ll know I’m ready.

I no longer feel the pressure, but I’m excited for when that moment comes and I create something that finally blows me away!