Last week on Facebook I wrote “In moments of doubt, you cannot give up on your dreams”. In a moment of fear for me, where I wasn’t sure if I could put any more energy into what I was doing, I wrote it. I honestly thought of throwing everything up in the air and saying “I’m done”. But the truth of the matter was, I was scared!
I was scared that I was going to achieve much more than I expected. That I was going to surpass dreams and passions and I might be left standing on the side of a dusty road with with all my accomplishments behind me asking “now what?” I was doubting my next step, my direction, pretty much everything cause I was honestly afraid of achieving them.
Isn’t it funny how the brain and our emotions work? That we create dreams and goals for us to work towards but the moment we realize we actually have the drive and the strength to go after them we freeze. As if our brain says that we shouldn’t actually accomplish anything on our list. That we should just let life pass us by with a bunch of ‘what if’s’ instead of ‘I did!’.
I don’t want my life to be a bunch of what ifs and wishes. I want to say I dreamed, I planned, and I did! I went after everything on my list and yes I fell on my face, I failed, I made mistakes but I did. I came out on top and had a blast doing it!
So, in moments of doubt, no matter how scary it is, do not give up on your dreams!
A goal: seeing my images in print! So excited to see my images in print in the CRAVE – The Hague book! Thank you to the fabulous ladies for letting me sharing your images and for Scarlett for the awesome make-up skills!
These past couple of weeks have been the craziest of times for me, professionally, and I only see it getting more busy and more exciting from here on! And I say “Bring it, I’m ready!”. I’ve been working hard and dreaming of this moment for a long time and I’m excited that it’s paying off. I still have a lot of work to do and a long journey in front of me but I feel ready for this, can you tell I’m excited?!
Until the day I said, ‘screw it, I am who I am and I need to embrace it’. That was the day that I became myself and accepted that I am independent and stubborn, I like to ask questions and need to know the why and what behind something before believing it, and that I do have frizzy red hair and need to learn how to tame it! 😉 
Last night while I pulled my duvet up around my chin to protect me from the cold, I couldn’t help but feel a little depressed. Why is that no matter how much I move forward, I still feel like I haven’t moved an inch? That all the goals I have accomplished suddenly have me saying “well, those were a fluke” and I don’t actually take ownership of how hard I worked to achieve them. I just continue to look forward at my new goals, afraid I’ll fail and never achieve anything. I know I’m not the only one who goes through these moments. So instead of 
The more time I spend with others, my gift comes out, it shines and radiates from me. I will be sitting with my legs curled underneath me talking with someone about their passions and suddenly I have goosebumps and I’m shaking from excitement. My gift (if you’re wondering): I am a dreamer, motivator, and supporter through words and wisdom. I love to impart knowledge that just flows from me. Mix this gift in with my passion for helping women love and accept themselves in my boudoir sessions and I feel like I am on fire. It’s taken me a long time to realize this, but I’m learning to accept it and bless others with it! So, if you want to see me on fire, let’s meet and we’ll talk about your passions and where you want to go. We’ll both leave invigorated!!
Last Wednesday I hopped on a train, stepped into a car and was whisked away to a beautiful chateau in the middle of the French countryside so that I could photograph 10 amazing, inspiring, and beautiful women. Women who had been accepting themselves, giving themselves self love, and setting goals for their future. Just my kind of atmosphere! The moment that my assistant and I walked into the château I was moved. The laughter from the women drifted through the stairwell and I knew instantly I was going to love them. And love them I did. And then in return I was given a confidence I didn’t have before, dreams and goals that I new were sitting in my subconscious but afraid to admit, as well as new outlook on life. Seriously, spending 10 minutes in a room with these women was all I needed. I was hooked. I cannot wait to showcase some of their images, these women are astounding!
Before we landed back in the Netherlands, my 
But one of the top things that happened this past week is that Mister and I became an Aunt and Uncle to a beautiful baby boy named Lucas! He is adorable and I can’t wait to meet him! I feel too young to be called Auntie, but we love little Lucas to bits already and we are so proud of Mister’s brother and our sister-in-law for bringing such a precious bundle of joy into all of our lives!
Amazing isn’t it?! I am feeling very blessed lately and am very thankful for the space in between.
But this workshop has forced me to look beyond my conservative and modest ways, and embrace a women’s body as God intended it to be seen. Beautiful, curvy, with flaws, big and small, and yes very sexy. It’s been eye opening, literally. Sometimes I embarrass myself when I catch myself staring at women walking down the street admiring their bodies.
Doing things that scare you the most, often bring you further than walking the easy path and doing safe and familiar things.
I can relate to this post! well said. x
Just read this statement, which says it all: If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten.
So true! Congrats on the publishing! Hard work and pursuing your dreams is obviously paying off 🙂 How could it not with great pictures like that! Too bad we can’t buy that book here in Belgium 🙁
I can always send it to you if you’d like one!