I usually have major issues with sleeping, insomnia and I are very close friends and have spent a lot of time together. I would have thought that moving halfway across the world would have caused me to lose more sleep, and I would be staying awake at night staring at the ceiling. The opposite has happened. I sleep, and I dream. I wish this was a joyous event to be celebrated, but to the contrary, my dreams have left me frustrated and confused because I’ve been dealing with the same subject matter for a whole month.
Being chased or chasing someone/something.
I believe that our dreams is our subconscious dealing with our feelings and our daily life. After two weeks of walking up after being chased I knew something was up, that something wasn’t quite right. The following two weeks changed from dreaming of being chased to me doing the chasing, looking for someone or something, then back to being chased again. A whole month of endless running; it’s quite exhausting!
I have a pretty good idea what is causing my dreams, I’ve just been trying to avoid acknowledging it, but I have to be honest with myself. I have to start over.
I stand before a monstrous, dark and ugly mountain. Restarting my business from scratch. With no social or work network, plus a language barrier on top of everything, leaves me petrified. Many days I want to throw in the towel, give up, and say it’s not worth it. I’m terrifed of putting myself out there and of failing. I’m scared that when I’m trying to communicate why I do what I do and why I’m darn good at, I won’t be understood or I won’t understand them. I hate having the possibility of rejection after all my effort. It’s scary and I’d rather hide.
Hense the whole fleeing while being chased dreams.
Other days I think about knocking on every door, talking to anyone who will listen, or dressing up in some ridiclious outfit and hand out my business card in the market square. I think and dream about what I want from this life and I know that I can achieve it, if given the chance. Those are the days, where I want to conquer, to show these people what I’m made of. Thankfully I’m given a chance.
Hense the chasing and pursing dreams.
Dreams are good indications as to what we’re dealing with and apparently I’m ready to pursue and achieve my dreams, but I’d rather hide. I think I better stop running and do something about it so I can get some proper sleep at night. I’ve been given a chance to restart, may as well use it!
What have your dreams been telling you lately?
Amazing post, Lesley! This really spoke volumes to me! I know you will succeed. There is no limit to the dreaming heart- you’ve just got to believe it! I’m still in the process of “believing it” myself, but that’s a start, right?